W just picked up 2d's. she AGAIN brought up me not responding to her email. just said i was busy. she said i've been "weird" the last couple of days. then some more mundane conversation....she stayed a little longer than she normally does....again, talked to the cats....
HOly chit. is this really working??????????
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
Neil, I haven't been handing out any advice because it would be so contrary to what you're being told already.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
SC...ok. i would still like to hear some, if you get the chance....in fact, if any of the WAW's who are watching my thread disagree, please....say so. i still value your input dearly...
today's plan....
same as yesterday. only respond if it deals with Kids.
on a side note, when she picked up the kids yesterday, she asked about my mom and dad, which she rarely does, and bitched about how she has to get up earlier than normal to make sure she's dressed when she gets the kids up. my response? "i'm sorry to hear that"
still kinda feel like i'm being a jerk. but i'm friendly to her when she and i see each other and talk. so IDK...
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
ok..not gonna lie...starting to rethink this because two of my most trusted WAW advisors don't sound as if they agree here. i'm not going out of my way to be a jerk to her...i'm just not being as available as i normally am for her....
Last edited by Neilh23; 12/11/0802:21 PM.
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
Hey Bridge - I'm real curious on your take also. This is all so tough to figure out. Neil and I are very similar. I was taking his approach as well and it wasn't working. We commiserate all the time. Would love to hear another point of view. It would help both of us sort through.
It seems he was taking a very lovingly detached approach for a long time and she only responded when she needed something. He seemed very frustrated (just the way it sounded to me Neil - chime in if I'm off) at the lack of progress. Almost seemed like it fell into a routine. She was keeping him at an arm's length while she carries on with OM, but always has Neil to fall back on.
Following DB principles - just seemed like it was time to try something different. He was very down and completely caught up in her drama. Do you think it was a mistake??
I have some similarities in my sitch - so I would to hear a different viewpoint. Very quickly it looks like Neil's W reacted to his new stance. Didn't like the fact that he's not waiting around for her. Isn't that a good thing for Neil??
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
