C went well. There is still some hesitency in H voice. He is still unsure as to what he "really wants" but I think this can still be worked on.
We went to dinner afterwards. It was nice. We sat and talked and talked and talked. All in all I think it went really good. We shared some good laughs. And there were times, when I was ready to cry, but I laughed through the tears.
Keep your fingers crossed and prayers coming that this is just the first of many good times to come!!!
Thanks for sticking by me
Christa
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
It sounds like you made a slight crack in the dam. With time and patient that crack will become bigger and bigger and bigger until the dam will break. Great Job!!!
My W told me that she really likes being with me, but still is torn between being with me and being single. So I know what you are hearing and feeling. It is hard to stay cool when you hear those words. It gives me a sinking feeling in my stomach, but I see more progress forward than backwards. I have had to keep doing what I am doing and the crack in the dam to work for me. I know and you should know to, that time is in your favor.
Talking is good. It is real good. My first lunch with W after about 3 months of separation was the same. We talked and talked and laugh with each other. It was good for both of us. It may sound like I am talking about my sitch, but I am talking about yours.
You should know this up front, No matter how my sitch goes. I will always be here to support you, no matter how your sitch goes. Even though we have never met face to face, still consider you as one of those good friends that I talked about in couple of posts ago. I NEVER GIVE UP ON A FRIEND You are my inspiration. You helped me to have the courage to keep going when everyone else was urging me to give-up. . I guess you are stuck with me weather you like are not. (LOL) We will succeed together.
Did you and H make any plans to meet again? If you do keep things light and use your gut to take the next step.
Did all of your worrying about tonight make it happen? Worrying will give you gray hair before your time and you are to young to have gray hair.
<KEG>
The semester is almost over. How are you doing with studying for finals?
Talked to my atty. today, she said we are waiting on H's atty to get back to her to make sure they are agreeable to the details of the paperwork. I hope that is true. I'm so flustered with atty's in general right now i could scream!!!!!!!!! I'm upset with mine because she has this document supposedly prepared and didn't even ask me to come review it or even call me to let me know it was done...kind of crappy if you ask me. And i'm paying her how much an hour??? <------sorry venting here!!!!
So I text msgd. H to let him know the document was prepared and we were waiting on his side; he hasn't gotten back to me. I'm a little disgruntled with that as well. On top of all of this finals are Friday, I am sick and feel rather poopy!!! LOL!!!
I agree last night was a crack in the dam. I saw him and felt him opening up. When things settle down here, I want to call and ask him if I can bring dinner out and cook for him one night next week. The C recommended spending a few hours a week together and see how things go. I am really hoping he is agreeable to this, especially before our next session. He said in this session he had not really had a chance to get "to know me again." The C said we should work on this, so he can see for himself that the changes i have made are legit and not just something i talk about. I agree...it's time he gets to see who i have become, so we can start to make some new memories....and he can begin to forget about the "mean angry monster" I once was!
I know exactly how your W feels. Part of me is so ready for m M to get back on track, and to be with the H all the time. But part of me is so scared, scared of being hurt, scared of losing all the independence I have now. It's such a scary thought. Thinking about going back and H having an anger melt down like he used to have, it's a lot to think about and consider!!
well i have company...gotta go!
((((VS))))
Christa
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
I know your B-day is soon, I do not know if I am early or late. So HAPPY BRITHDAY!!!!!
We are done with finals today. Everyone is looking forward to having 14 working days off. I do not know who is happier the faulty or the students. I know as an Administrator I am happy either way. Good Luck on your finals. I know you will do well.
Once the finals is behind you, you can spend some time planning things with H. Take your time and feel your way through. The Christmas holidays is an emotional time of the year and can serve you well.
Going to his house to cook dinner sounds good. You may want him to have him come to your house for dinner as well. Is there anything that the two of you did together during this time of the year that you both enjoyed? My W and I went to an area mall just to walk around and look at the decorations. We did that last weekend. It brought back some good memories.
I hope my W decides that she can be both independent and stay in our R/M. I think we can do both. I do not have a problem with the idea of her having her independence, as long she is willing to commit to our R/M. I do not think I could live like we are now for an extend amount of time; without some assurances form her on our R/M.
Study hard, but study wise. Your brain can only absorb as much as your butt will let you. One of the best things I have learned over the years about studying for finals is to take breaks very hour for about 30 minutes and hit it again. Also get a good night rest. You will be able to concentrate better while taking the test if you are rested. It will cut down the chances of getting brain vapor lock during the test. Of course you have been taking test for a long time and you do not need an old man telling how to study. So forget everything that I have said.
I allow myself about 15-20 mins. every hour to play on the net!! I'm very ADHD and have a short attention span, so studying and sitting for long periods of time is really hard for me. The test tomorrow is 4 essay questions. The prof. gave the ten questions she will be choosing the 4 from...so that helps, but it is still a lot!!
I will be so glad when the finals are done
Hope all is well in TX!!
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
