Well, I called my husband this morning. I felt uncomfortable vibes from him yesterday, and I prayed many times for guidance in my actions.
After much praying, I felt in my heart that I should call him. And so I did.
I can't say it went poorly. He seemed happy and a little bit surprised to talk to me. He was a little stiff at first, but once he heard that I was laughing and acting normal, he softened up and acted normal as well. We talked about mutual friends, work, and then he asked me how I was doing/if I was ok. I said I still get scared soemtimes, but everything's going well. I asked if he was excited about his place and he said, "I guess so." He asked me if I was sure if he could take the grill (it's a large, really nice grill that I told him he could have - was my parent's). I said of course. He asked if he could come over this weekend to start grabbing some things, and I said sure. I mentioned that I'd gone to our mutual friend's house for this weekly Christian discussion group they have. He seemed genuinely surprised, and asked how it was. I said it was really good, but I didn't elaborate. I asked if he had plans tonight, and he said he was going out with his friend from work. I ended the convo first, and even though he'd used my "full" name when he answered, he used my pet name when he got off the phone.
I don't feel bad about it. I actually feel good. Honestly, I'm giving him space, and I'm not arguing with his decision - but I am building on our foundation which is what my coach suggested.
Just gonna keep plugging along and praying. God will take care of everything. I am certain of that.
Today is day three of my fast. I'm feeling good, and I'm actually on the horse at work today. That feels like a real breakthrough.
I keep telling myself that God is still working in both of us, and that I have to take this thing one step at a time. I feel sadness still, but I also feel lighter.
