Any, sweetheart, I am so sorry that I have not been around for you like I should have been. I thought you were doing so good and I got sidetracked with a newcomer.....chewewd her out, then another woman came on and chewed me out for chewing the other....oh never mind. The point is that I feel like I let you down by not getting to you quick enough. However.....may I just say.....THAT'S MY GIRL FOLKS!!!

Now, I'll have to admit (with my temper and all) that I was not having nice thoughts about what I could do to a man like him Then you had to come up with needing a voice of "reason" and I thought, "Oh no.....I can't, I just can't". But honey, you have grown so much so quickly that you are your own voice of reason. I am so proud of you and how you waited and went by the 24 hour rule (wish I could do that) and still used good sense. If it had been me, I probably would have beat him over the head with how I was going to go out with every guy he ever hated and have them over for breakfast every morning the way he used to do so the boys would be sure to meet them! Oh, honey, I can be one mean b*tch! But, thankfully, you said enough that I hope it gave him enough to chew on for a while. He is so fogged out until I think he forgot what he told you about his boys and not having anyone around his boys. I'm getting worked up......I need to take 24 hours, but like I said....I can't seem to do that very well.

Amy, there was one thought that kept running through my mind and it had nothing to do with the legal side of things b/c I know very little about that part of it. Remember when we first started talking to each other and I found out about your stitch and how your H was having an A with OW, etc.? You were very open about how attracted you still were to him and seemed like he couldn't come to the house that the two of you didn't end up having sex. So, we talked about the idea of you having an A with your H (since, after all, you were legally M to the guy) and see if you could draw him back to you that way. We were hoping that he would see where the OW did not hold a light to you and how crazy he would be to leave you for her....yada, yada. But, you decided that after a very short time of doing that, it was not for you. I think self respect was the issue then. You knew it just wasn't right even if you were M to him.

But, honey, you flipped out when that b*tch...I mean OW got even near your boys....LOL! It was one thing for him to (you know what) with the OW and you still had sex with him, too.......but "don't bring that OW around my boys....now I done told you!!" Tell me that kids don't make a mother's fury rise up and nearly kill a man twice her size!

Seriously, I was tossing this around in my angry head trying to get through all those other posts (my gosh!)(so many!)cause I wanted to get my two cents in (hush Puppy). Anyway, it came to me that when you kept talking about him disrespecting you by having OW around your boys.....and I was thinking, "But what about when you were having sex with him while he was sleeping with her?" It clicked by the time I finally got to the last page so I could at last say something.......and, it really is about respect.....isn't it? That is why you stopped sleeping with him at that time, even though you loved him.....you just could not disrespect yourself like that. Now, you do not want to be disrespected in front of your children.....which, as a mother, is much more important to you. Am I right, or am I just blowing in the wind? I mean, you put up with so much of his crap b/c you could not detach and kept saying that just wasn't your nature to do that,etc........until I wasn't sure what was going to have to happen before you could.....but you you finally started to take off, and when you did....you started growing in leaps and bounds. You have done good, kido, and I just don't want to see you hurt or done wrong, b/c, like everyone else on this board that has ever read one post from you, I love you very much. You are a very special person, AmyM. You have a good head on your shoulders. Your faith is strong and growing stronger by the day. You are a very smart young lady. Keep a clear concious and an open heart to God and you can't go wrong. You've already proven that by what you said by the fact you could expose OW to her H and you could tell your H's family what he's really been up to..... and other people, as well. But then you said, what did you have to gain by doing that. That is when I thought my heart would brust b/c that is grace, Amy, true grace in action......and not many of us are capable of doing that.

You've been sorely tested baby, and it may get worse before it gets better again. But you've got the right stuff and don't you ever doubt that for one second! You will come out the winner! I promise you......you will come out the winner b/c you are doing your best to do what God wants you to do about all of this and He will honor that. And, you know what? I think I told you one time that God often uses little children to say things to get messages across to adults? When we leave it up to Him.....well, we just never know what can be accomplished. There is no telling what those kids of yours may say to your H or to the OW! May be good.....may not be so good.....but, hey, God is on His Throne, sweetie!

I love you.
Sandi




It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!