Put lights on tree myself. W blew my D17 off. Called form OM's mothers house (caller ID) and tld her she couldn't make it, got called into work. D17 knew she was lying. Anyway, lights look good, D17 said not bad but she will redo garland and ornaments tomorrow. We had a good night, laughed a little, hung up some Xmas cards we got. doing laundry. she is such a good kid D176. This really kills me when she is happy and then she gets a little sullen. this is hard on her being the youngest and the only one left at home.
Talked to my son tonight. He was very concerned about me, he had talked to D21. Told me keep being me, everyone loves me. If no one has come along and scooped me up yet its bvecaus it isn't menat to be, mayb, who knows. Says he'll go to church with me on sunday, great. He gets mad about all of this, becaue he is Mommys boy, he just gets ripped. Told him to calm done, threats don't make anything better. He had to go, his MIL was droppping off the baby. Computer hard drive crashed at work today, I am under the gun to get a National service poject complete, and down it went. 7 hours of me calling every computer geek I knew to get it resolved. Our "computer company" was completely useless....Very frustrating day, lots of pressure from above, looked up at the ceiling and said, this is a cake walk...LOL...find myself rubbing the cross a lot. don't know why, I just do. Finding lots of frustration and emotiona, negative emotion, but I am prepared. AmyC as yu said, the other one will throw everything at me. Still calm, still focused, still listening...
