Gucci, thank you so much for the response. It was uplifting, and I really do appreciate it. I've got the wisdom - no I just have to apply the lesson.
The truth is, it's very difficult for me to know how to be feminine. I'm not even sure I know how to portray it. All of the DB principles tell me that I should be acting as if I don't care, but I can't say for sure whether that particular tactic is helping me.
I think I was getting better results when I was being his friend, but I can't say for sure. I feel like the more space I give him, the more withdrawn he becomes. I think he really expects me to be detached. He kept saying that my non-detachment was making it harder on him - and isn't that part of the point? To not make it easy?
I really do need help figuring this out. I can't seem to quite work out how to portray tender and soft while still being detached.
Good Lord, this stuff is difficult.
Sexy, I got. Confident, I got. Tender and soft - that's a tough one.
And I have cried with him. I used to cry with him all the time - but almost never about anything having to do with us. I cried about my parents or my job, but it was pretty rare for me to cry when we argued.
When he told me he wanted a D the first time, I called him sobbing and he came back. We tried for two days, and then he left again. When he left, I cried. I told him how much I would miss him, and he cried with me.
But I have't cried with him since then. Do you still think I should?
He has asked several times if I'm still afraid to be at home alone. He told me he'd help me hang some pictures sometime in the future. He's trying really hard to make sure that I'm ok in terms of finances, etc.
And he still looks at me with love. I can see it. And I can see his sadness.
I'm going to pray about it, and hopefully God will show me the next step.
