Trying2Live-Post #6

[TxMomw/2girls]

Hey everyone..

T2L - how was yesterday?? I'm sorry and glad that you made it through.. mine is coming up in a month - I will make sure H watches kids that night and go to dinner with friends.. good idea

I will be posting a question on my thread too...

H wants to spend christmas eve and christmas day with "us" ... part of me wants to do this for my D4 as it could be our last Christmas together.. part of me thinks it is too much and he is not worthy of this time with us.. he left it all you know..

I am pretty sure I'm ok with letting him join us for some of the activities - like church and maybe just Christmas morning with kids and then go to a friends house for lunch or something so I don't have to be with him whole day....

thoughts?? maybe go to my thread and respond although I'll check here too.

I am ready and done with all my "talks" and questions.. I will no longer point out all the things he is not doing or doing wrong.. I'm truely going to DBing... some days I'm completely fine being friendly and some days I hate that I'm so "nice" ... but we really have limited contact..

My friend from highschool has been having an affair for a year... Divorce almost final with H, and last month has been having huge guilt, crying and emotions and week after Thanksgiving went to H and asked for a chance to work on marriage... H only new about the A for 6 months but sold home, filed for D right away... she says she still loves the OM and misses him but knows she needed to give her marriage a try or she couldn't live with herself. So there is hope, she hasn't given me some good advise too...

She also wanted to email my H and the email was awesome.... she emailed it yesterday and it was such good stuff.. He hasn't said a thing to me - I can copy and post it if you want to read the thoughts our H's might be feeling... of course this is how she feels now a year later - 6 months after bomb dropped and D almost final - literally one week away...

Her advise is to let the D process start, start acting like you are dating, being friendly and not calling them on all the [censored] they have thrown our way... her H did the crying, begging, but what got her was he started moving on, quit talking and emotions, and seemed DONE with the marriage and was going to be OK without her... he started dating etc.. all of this combined with Thanksgiving, and the D almost final freaked her out...

Now women are more emotional than men so not sure our H's will respond the same but they all wanted out of the marriage so we need to STOP giving them reason to still leave....

OK long post... please go back up and answer my question about Christmas.. how much do I let him particpate? I guess I'm lucky he even wants too spend it with the girls....