I think it's completely understandable that you would be feeling off kilter, out of it, spacey and all that. As if the sitch with H isn't crazy enough, there's your health concerns too.
And having H run hot an cold, the hateful things he's said to you!!! How can you expect to let go and "get into it"???
Give yourself a break, hon. Your world is topsy turvy right now, you're gonna have feelings of disequilibrium...it's very unsettling, I know. Sometimes under severe stress we can "dissociate" from situations and our very selves, in order to keep afloat. Is that what your sense of "disengagement" is like?
Is it a constant feeling or just "spells" so to speak?
