Living in Limbo Land

[KAW]

The C made what I thought to be a good suggestion and that is for me to validate his feelings at those particular moments and then to excuse myself from further involvement until we're both ready to talk about it, if I find myself too upset to discuss it further at that moment.

Hey, that's what I was gonna say after reading post from earlier today!

Seriously, I sure can relate. Similar what happened to me on Monday. I felt sabatoged too. If he is not going to accept your explanations, then this is the next best tact to take and it may take a two or three days before he is ready.

I tried talk to my W (CAW) in the evening after a disastrous day. We really didn't get anything resolved. After that she wrapped herself in the TV, so I load a computer game for D9. CAW decided to go to bed. No "Goodnite" ... no kiss ... no nothing.

Tuesday morning got ready for work. Usually get a kiss "Goodbye". I was given a cheek to kiss. When I got home ... each time I said something, I got a one word response. So I had asked about her day and she said she was in a real bad mood and continued to get the cold shoulder, so I left her totally alone. Again ... No "Goodnite" ... no kiss ... no nothing.

Today, when I got to work, I was told I had to come back tonight to cover the night shift. So, I called CAW to let her know I was coming home early. When I got home, she was full of smiles and all cheery. After doing some shopping, I wanted to take a nap before having to come back to work. She offered to lay my head on her while I napped. Go figure...

Anyway, my point is leaving them all during these "fits" seems to work time and time again towards turning them around again.

Hang in there (((( Jeannine ))))

'til later,
KAW

[Jeannine]

Thanks Kaw,

It was no surprise when my H called from the other house this evening and said he was feeling really tense and had been for a few days. Said he threw up this morning and that his chest is really tight right now.

I asked him what he wanted to do and if he felt that he needed to stay the other house tonight. I let him know that that would be fine with me.

He said that he wasn't sure what he was going to do as there wasn't much to eat there. I offered to bring him some food but he politely declined.

Odd thing though was that he called me from his cell phone and we were disconnected. When I tried to call him back on the landline there, there was no answer. So I called him back on his cell, which he answered. He claims that the landline phone at the other house is not working. Hmmm... Not sure what to make of that.

So at this point, I'm not sure whether he'll be coming home tonight or not. My feeling is that he won't. I sensed this coming all day.
But I do know that I will not lift a finger unless he requests it.

I'm working hard on letting him make his own decisons about these sort of events. Giving him the opportunity to retreat to his off location cave without making him feel bad about it.

Hitting the learning curve gradually.

Jeannine

[KutieKat]

i just wanted to come in here and thank you for spending time in my sitch, i really do appreciate it

kitti

[psluke]

Hi Jeannine,

It sounds like you are doing great in dealing with your alien! You talked about seeing progress in me but I can really see a change in you here lately and how you are handling your H's need for space. So way to go!!!!!!

Hope you got some rest last night.

The phone thing would have in the past set me off I know. I hope I am past the point that something like that would push me into a meltdown now. But I also hope not to put myself into too many situations just yet that would throw me back to that person. I like yours and mines new persons better than the old ones! Lets make a pact to keep the new ones around for the long haul!!!

Here is a hug and keep up the good work and the sense of humor! I think laughter is good medicine and very important to keep in our lives right now.

{{{{{Jeannine}}}}}}

[Jeannine]

Kitti,

You are most welcome.

Jeannine

[Jeannine]

Pam,

I like yours and mines new persons better than the old ones! Lets make a pact to keep the new ones around for the long haul!!!

Okee-Dokee.

I think laughter is good medicine and very important to keep in our lives right now.

I concur.

- Now, back to toad hunting I most go. -

(Unless you've been reading Pam's thread, that "toad" reference probably won't make any sense.)

Jeannine

[psluke]

I guess we could all call our WAS toads! Then you wouldn't have to hunt too hard to find plenty around here!!

Hope you are doing well. I am hanging in here today and that is about the best I will expect of myself today! But tomorrow I expect myself to do better. See moving forward, both of us!

Lets go so we can get wadded through this mess! Don't you wish you could do it at your pace and not theirs.

So did the Merlot work with the hemlock?

[shinybear]

Pam, I guess that depends on what you mean by "worked"...she IS still here after all!!!

Shiny

or was it intended for another....what did I miss THIS time?

[psluke]

Poor Shiny!

You have to go back to my thread and track it forward from there to here!!!!!!!!!

[psluke]

Good Morning Jeannine,

Hope you are doing well and your H is back home.

So when is the next doctors appointment? Soon? Have you been feeling any better?

Lots of questions.

I think getting past the birthday hurdles has helped my PMA!

So, now on to the house repairs, what a lot of work this all is, get something new then repair what you messed up getting it installed!