A in Ohio - Rising Above The Ashes

[Phoenixdeux]

CONTROL

I don't think much of that complaint. I'm really not even sure it bears working on (that much). The ONLY time I hear about how someone is controlling is when there is someone else or the spouse is otherwise leaving. When you dig your heels in about them going out to the bar nightly, you are controlling. When you don't want them chatting with the person they are cheating with, you are controlling.

I heard how I was controlling too. Know what? I've changed nothing in that regard, and since my wife came back, I've heard nothing about "controlling". I think the reason why is that there is controlling in any relationship, if you look at it hard enough. My wife bugging me to get a haircut or pick up my shoes could be construed as controlling. Me saying, "don't be too late", could be controlling. Obviously if you want control over every aspect of your spouses life then it's too much...but the "controlling" I see mentioned by the WAS is not something to work on. It ISN'T too much to ask that your spouse not cheat on you. It isn't too much to expect they won't screw some other guy/girl. THat's not controlling, that's fidelity.

Off my soapbox about the b.s. that is controlling.