How to know when to let go PT2????

[Amy M]

Kristi...I thought I'd pop in and see how you are doing. Good thing I got here before Puppy...he might blast you for your last post!!! So, I'll offer some hugs and love in case you need them to make it through his post!!! You are still feeling sorry for yourself, and he won't like that.

First off, have you had a chance to read any of the other sitches here on the board? If not, you should read some of them. Almost every WAS says the words your H said about not having anymore to give and about not seeing anyway to make the marriage work. And, it's very common for the WAS to actually say that you'd be better off with the D! So, believe none of what he says...none of it!

Secondly, you can't stop DBing, cause I'm not sure you have even started it! Probably 2 of the most used techniques described in the book are the "stop chasing" and the GAL techniques. Unless I'm missing something, you haven't really done either of those! You are still engaging in R talks with your H on a regular basis. In fact, it appears that you are initiating most of the R talks. He still feels like you are pursuing him. That makes him want to run harder.

And, I hear you mentioning some goals for Kristi, but I haven't seen you post any yet!!!

I'm not being harsh, I'm just pointing out that you might should look at the book again and really think about applying the techniques described. The one thing I can promise you that will come out of that is that you will be in a healthier place in less time than you will be otherwise. I personally can attest to that!!!!!

The other thing that might happen, is that once you are in a healthier place, your H might think, "Hey, look at Kristi. Wow, I want some of what she's got." If that happens, great! If it doesn't, that will be fine too. Remember, you'll already be healthy without him!

Just keep hanging in there. Know there are many, many people here who have been in your same shoes recently! And, know that we will all get through this to a better place soon.

Hugs to you!!!

Amy