Well it is the next morning and i rang h to apologise for text.
He said " you dont need to apologise " I said " well i feel what I said, it is just that I acted in child like way by sending them to you. i needed to write it down and burn it "
Then i went on to explain that actually it was me being child like throughout our M , that has me doing stuff like the texts and it was his parental hold in the marriage that had him respond with the attitude of a parent ie its ok, I will come back into the room when you have calmed down, etc etc
He was very interested and said " Wow that sounds good and right "
We then when on discuss xmas day plans as adults.With me asking his thoughts and him kind of considering mine. He seems stuck on this idea that our kids will get confused if we share anytime together. Our kids are 16, 18 and 20. Hardly of an age where they would be confused.
I said " the more we can work together and make them our priority the better they will come through this "
so he came up with a few suggestions for the day, which I said I would put on the table with them to choose.
All in all a good conversation. It was for 30min and he was interested in what my C had to say.
All our conversations are about kids and business. Although apparently (according to my C ) he is giving me a lot of personal info .. his hospital trip, what he will be doing in hosp, dentist visit, working through xmas, going to car race in Jan and deep sea fishing following weekend. She says he is not genuine in his leaving. Most would not tell other spouse much. the only thing I don't know about h , is where he goes at night. He protects that with his life. I dont ask questions and allow my imagination to run wild instead which spirals me into depression.
H also will not help me at all. I had a huge xmas tree on the driveway which had to be carried up into living area and he stepped over it. I needed a strong magnet and asked him for one and he basically ignored me. My C said if you were genuine and real , you would pick up the xmas tree because you would do that for even a stranger.
