Hiya All, glad you felt good with what I wrote. If anything this has brought me to a new R with God which I never had before.
At the beginning before I knew about the OW I thought I could fix this quick. We would talk, I would guilt him, cry and bingo everything would be the same. Now I realize that "more of same" is not what I want anymore. If H every comes back I do not want that same crappy M -- and it was. It has given me an awakening and I know that it could never go back to the same situation.
We stopped going out, talking, being intimate, everything. H was a workaholic (now he is just an alcoholic since he started with OW) and we were both stressed with our jobs. How sad that it got like that. But I am looking at my M with "new eyes". While H is doing "more of the same" with OW, I am working out, losing weight, reflecting on the changes I need to make within myself, praying. Am I 100% successful -- absolutely not.
What I have to make a commitment to being consistent, positive, DBing and confident. Those are all the traits that I want my H to see.
When I start losing my temper, crying or nagging I see in H's eyes that he wants to run and that is what I have to change. Need to focus. I pray everyday for this.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
