Still More to Learn

[cotoffgard]

"I do still want that man. I would like a new relationship with that man, if he gets his head out of his butt."

I think you're on your way to detaching! My bit of advice is that you also need a new relationship with yourself. DB'ing is as much about saving yourself as it is saving your M. Early on in the grieving process, it's only natural that your state of being is H-centric; that almost all of the strong emotions and negativity is tied to your H in some form or manner. It takes a lot of strength and courage to pull yourself out of that hole and to just smile again. I know...I've been there...and I found my way out. There's no shortcut, unfortunately. I fought my way out inch-by-inch, so don't despair! You're much farther along in the process than it appears. Why? Because you're looking down at the hole you're climbing out of. When you start looking up at what you're aiming for, things get a LOT easier.

I don't mean to beat a dead horse (or the puppies you plan to eat with orange marmalade), but I'm really hoping that you start up more social activities to perhaps fill that need for human interaction. What I found really remarkable was that most of the sadness I felt was really rooted in loneliness and the fear thereof. Once that was abated with all the new friends I've made along the way, the very best of what I remember of my W was left remaining, and that is what I'm fighting for!

Turn that frown upside down, Lady Marmalade! Tell yourself you'll be happy, and I guarantee you will!