Recipe for a Military Wife

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

Take things slow and give her space and time to get used to the repentant you. If possible, get connected to a counselor through church. They will be decidedly pro-marriage.

while this is probably mostly true, even at my church my pastor (he was young though) said that it takes both of us to save the marriage. Now, to me, that is a wordly view as we know that we can save our M's single-handedly! well, okay, it does take two, but our spouse is not one of them! lol



SMW,
I would suggest not holding back more emails/contact than you are. I believe you are being dark as much as you should be.

The other reason is that I believe you still need to be that wife that God has called you to be. It doesn't mean to go overboard, but I believe you still need to be present.

I believe that because of my attitude, not ignoring or going completely dark, but instead having an attitude of fun, carefree, not acting like anything he did bothered me (unless it was a boundary) and treating him as a friend that knew he wanted a D and I didn't pressure him to do otherwise, was the reason for my success. Of course I want to give God all the credit, not me, I was just following what I believed God was telling me.

SMW, I know this is going on for a long time, and I know it's really hard, just try not to let his ignorance cause bitterness for you, because I am sensing that. Try to really see the small positives as positives, for ex. the email to the kids, which was really really good. IMHO, I would be careful of your lack of responses so it doesn't seem as though your angry or don't care. But ultimately, do what works for your H, as every person takes things differently.

(((SMW)))

Crissy--

I am not bitter. I really searched my heart over your post last night. What I am is incredibly tired. Not just physically, but also in my mind, my heart, and my spirit. While the Lord is sustaining me, the holidays are still wearing on me. This is not a new feeling for me during the holidays when H is deployed. Adding the sitch on top of it has just made it more intense this time.

I gave up all relationship talk to him directly back in June, when he walked out of MC. That night was the last time I ever discussed it with him. Other than the letter I gave him on the pier in September, I did not mention it again. I then let sleeping dogs lie until I sent the card for our Anniversary. Even then, I acknowledged that the old was gone and we needed to build new on the foundation that we had started with years ago.

I am done with that now until probably around my birthday or so, in March. At that point, things will have to be discussed, as I cannot have things like they were back in August, before he left for deployment. I am beyond that and will not drag myself back down again, living a pretend life and him sleeping in D9's room.

I have some emails to post in a bit for feedback. Right now, though, a baby needs my attention.

SMW