For the Guy with Kids and a WW Twenty One

[hopeful4her]

She just called my work phone from her work phone. I didn't answer. She left a VM.

"Hey, its Clarissa. I was calling to see if you could stop by the branch and sign something, cuz, ummm....for the Hartford, ummm... I guess for our life insurance, um...is requesting additional information, ummm...and they need your signature on your part, so if you could stop by I'd appreciate it. Call me... Bye."

Couple minutes later, she called my cell.

"Hey, its Clarissa. I was calling to see if you could stop by the branch, um.. or if I could go to your branch. I need to get something signed by you for the Hartford Life Ins. I guess they need additional health information from me and since I put you down on getting coverage for you, they also need your signature. Give me a call if you can make it, if not I can go by there, uhhhhh........ I'lll talk to you later. Bye."


Her voice sounded like they were hard calls to make.

Funny.

I'll just email her back that maybe I can stop by after I have lunch.

What is she doing? Puting a $1,000,000 policy on me? If it were me and I didn't really want to make that call, I would have just reduced the coverage amount to where the signature isn't needed.

But that's just me.

[kat727]

Make her come to you. You don't need to be accomadating unless it concerns the kids or something you started. Don't look at the rope!

kat

[InLikeFlynn]

I would definately be in pullback mode. I would start demonstrating that the H4H package is not for rent...its BUY ONLY!! So far she rents you when she needs you...then returns you.

You have become her Girlfriend in a way. Thats needs to stop. Your her husband. She needs a jolt of reality of what life with out H4H is like.

You have scored some major points recently. You have been there when she needed you, demonstrated how well the family functions as a unit. You have done all you can to remind her of what she will lose.

I think its time to lay the cards on the table with her.

Emotionally its taking a toll on you. Being there for her as her husband, all the friendly family time only to feel the sting of reality when her cellphone buzz's and then your discarded at the end of the day. Sent to your room so to speak...i.e. your house until she needs you again.

Basically you are filling a lot of her major EN's but get none of your EN's filled in return. Wonderboy..if he is still in the picture...hasn't had to deal with any of the heavy stuff going on in her life.

Its time for a reality dart. Pull back more and more...without it too obvious and see what happens.

[hopeful4her]

I was thinking of having lunch with Y since she is at my office today. Maybe I should make her bring the papers out to me with Y in the car.

[InLikeFlynn]

I have to tell you...your relationship with your wife has me stumped!!! By all appearances you have a good relationship, you work well as a team. I believe based on your posts that she loves you at some level at least. When she needs emotional support she turns to you. You both are great parents.

What is missing??? What is the allure of her living apart? Its not like she is running the bars etc? Yeah she has Tom in the background...but when does she have time for him?? She seems consumed with work and then the kids....with little or no time for much else. Financially this is a disaster. The kids have been forced to go back and forth instead of having a single family structure.

I get the situations where people fall out of love for people. The old "I love you but and not in love with you" BS. But all long-term marriages go thru that at times.

[hopeful4her]

ILF,

To your first post...

Thats exactly where it felt like it was going, and that is why I am in full reverse right now. Not doing it in a mean way, I hope, but in an unemotional way.

To your second...


We do have a long untold story. Aside from all the crap that the wife and I have experienced before we got together, when we were together and now that we are apart, I'm just as confused.

[kat727]

So what did you do? (re paperwork)

kat

[hopeful4her]

Just got back, actually. Went and had lunch.

ALONE.

We work pretty close to each other, so I head her way. I called her and I ask her what she needs me to do. She says that she jus needs my signature on something and that she has it there.

"Just come in."

I go to her branch and sit because she has a client. I wait about 10 minutes and just as I'm getting ready to leave, she comes out, forgets the paper, goes back in to her office and motions me over to the check writing table.

"Just sign here. Can you date it for this other date. I was supposed to turn it in by then."

I sign and just glance at the paper. It was her signature and then mine, as spouse. Something for the Hartford is all I can tell.

She picks it up as I'm just looking at it, looks at me and laughingly says, "Do you want to see what your signing for?"

Realizing it was kind of funny to have me sign something without know what it was, she was going to walk back to her office to get the rest of the paperwork.

I look at her and nicely say "Nope", turn and walk out the door.

Left her standing at the doorway to her office looking at me.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

You signed something as important as insurance paperwork, not knowing what it was????

Umm, oooooKAYYYYY.

Puppy

[hopeful4her]

I'm familiar with the paperwork.

She was actually increasing her life insurance coverage to over what her CU covers for free. It was a medical questionaire and it needed my signature as her spouse because I'm automatic beneficiary.

SHE didn't think I knew what it was.