I just read Phoenixdeux's post about the last resort technique and it has really helped me. It truly came at the perfect moment. Then I read in Another Nightmare's thread that he has taken off his wedding rings and so far so good.
The two posts combined gave me an epiphany. I have been way too afraid to let go. Like if I let go of the marriage, then it's game over. If I take off my rings, I am accepting defeat.
But I think it is finally sinking in that I want to let go of that marriage. That marriage fell apart and is in a really bad state. I no longer want that marriage.
I do still want that man. I would like a new relationship with that man, if he gets his head out of his butt.
I think I am confusing the crying/mourning of the loss with acceptance of defeat. So what we were defeated. Lots of people pick themselves up after defeat and try again. Hopefully, they will have learned something in the defeat, but they try again.
Why can't I try again with H, if he is willing one day?
I am rambling a bit but I wanted to get my thoughts out before I lost them. Plus it helps me process. Will probably have some more setbacks and crying, so be warned friends.
Thank you all for being here for me. I would me lost without you.
