Trying2Live-Post #6

[AllW8SBF]

Hello girls,
I'm back, well it looks like this whole crap we are going through doesn't get easier or better for any of us.
I have been praying for all of you, that your h's will hear and see you like they did on your wedding day. When the covenant was made and never to be broken.
I really need somewhere to vent.
I really feel I'm doing the wrong thing here, in that I mean,by coming here and venting cause I've been focusing on my faith, and praying. And It was/is working but then last night something happened that I'm not sure if it can be fixed.
But I know it can because anything in the Lord is not impossible.
But will God touch this with a 10 foot pole. Sex????
I'm horrible at it!

H made 10 steps forward even starting to think there was something to God - h was cured from the flu the other night after thinking God was punishing him and I told him if he thinks that to ask forgiveness and after that H said he was feeling better, symptoms had reversed.
We talked the rest of the night and we decided we were going to work on things - cautiously.

Well we had sex last night, and he was still fatigued so I did the prep and got on top, we were in sync and building, but for some reason I lost sync and couldn't get it back.
He got mad and frustrated.
He told me "that" (sex) will not happen again until "you" figure it out. Me - it's all me, I can't believe that, sex is between two people. He asked me if he had done anything to make me think I need to change the movement, I said he sped up a bit, he's like yes A BIT!
He hurt me, I don't know what to do, or how to fix it. He stood there, I asked what do you want me to say - h said he wanted me to say "I'll work on it".

I need to go back to focusing on God and faith but I'm losing faith, the devil is trying to get to me. I'm not sure God can help me with sex.
I know he can do anything. But how can he work this one in me?