Nas.. I've heard all the same statements for why she's doing what she's doing. She wants independence; she doesn't feel the passion. She knows that love is a decision; but her decision is to try and love elsewhere.
I understand everything you say in your post; I can even empathize to a degree. I believe we all question our paths at some point in our lives. When I was 29, I started to look at what I was doing in my life. By 30, I had made a major career change, moved back to Savannah from Alabama. Shortly thereafter, I met my W. Even now, I can feel the desire to have my own MLC. I just choose to love my kids and accept responsibility; so I trudge on willingly.
My W feels a need to "prove" that she can make it without the help of anyone. She feels that everyone she's known thinks that she cannot. I've been nothing short of supportive of everything she's ever wanted to do; yet it's not enough. I get that, NOW!! I fought the idea back in April; but after realizing that I couldn't stop her, I let go.
It hurt initially, but I found that I really need to soul-search myself. Now, I would never make a decision that would jeopardize my kids; I am making decisions that help bring back my identity. so it's been good for me in that respect.
I would love for my W to have been as self aware as you are. I use past tense because I don't have a strong desire for her to come back.
Just know that I think you a very strong individual to recognize your traits, the traits that were destructive to your marriage; and the desire you have to make changes where necessary to better yourself and in the end, hopefully your M.
