Well, it's over...the convo. He said "It's not a big deal. She didn't ride with us. She just came to the movie cause she wanted to see it. She didn't even sit by me. She sat by S3." I was so mad. I just told him..."we had a deal. The deal was that you wouldn't bring her around my kids until the D was final, period. I'm being very lenient by allowing you to see them at all tomorrow night. Humor me so we can hopefully get to a better place and finish this divorce without too much pain. It's a short leap between going to the movie with my boys and sleeping over at your place while they are there. And, I won't allow you to disrespect me or them that way." He said, "I would never do that." I laughed and said, "And, I should trust you why?"

We went back and forth a few minutes...he kept repeating that it wasn't a big deal; that I was blowing it out of proportion; that she didn't even ride with them; that it wasn't like I thought; that she didn't bring them candy in her purse...she bought it for them while he took them to bathroom. I finally said, "H, your brain is not working right now. Maybe you should use someone else's to judge what's a big deal and what's not. Afterall, you have convinced yourself that it's not a big deal to screw around with another woman while you are married to me."

Finally, I said, "Put yourself it my shoes. You'd be okay if I took the kids to dinner with a man?" He said, "Well, if it was one they'd known for a while cause they wouldn't think twice about it." I laughed and said, "Okay. What if I took the boys to eat with S7's friend's dad (he's single, cute, and happens to have work in common with me. I had commented before that he seemed like a nice guy and H actually flinched a little when I did), would you be okay with that? They've known him almost as long and as well as they know her." He was quiet...didn't respond. I said, "No, H, you wouldn't be okay with that. That would be totally uncool. I've explained to S7 that I can't have a boyfriend because I'm still married. That means that the same should hold true for you. Please don't make this harder than it has to be. I'll tell the boys I need them home tomorrow night. You can drop them off between 8:00 and 8:30."

During the convo. he threatened once to talk to an attorney tomorrow. I said, "Good luck with that. Standard visitation on Wednesday's is just till bedtime anyway. You were getting a better deal by having them spend the night." He didn't mention it again, and I'm almost certain he won't do it.

He said, "Well, can I talk to them?" I said, "Sure. Do we have an agreement? I'll see you tomorrow night between 8:00 and 8:30?" He said, "Yes." I said, "Okay. Great." Then, he talked to the boys for a few minutes and when S3 handed me the phone back. I just said, "I hope you can think about this tonight and understand where I'm coming from. Goodnight."

I did okay. I was angry, but, I think I had every right to be. So, I don't feel badly about that. I didn't cry...I was direct, and I got what I wanted...at least for tonight. I've left it open...so, after I talk to the attorney, I'll decide how to handle future visitations and interactions.

Thanks to everyone for checking on me today, for offering support and advice. I hope that I'm close to being done with the surprises in this sitch, but, likely there will be something else soon. Maybe it won't hit as hard next time!!!

Love you all!1

Amy

Me 39 H 36
S 7 S 4
T 15 M 12
H out 8/1/08
OW confirmed 8/6/08
D final on 6/12/09...I'm doing good!