Ok MT-it's time. He needs to not come to the house unannounced. I know it is his house too but HE made the decision to leave. He chose to have this A and he chose to walk out the door after stringing you along for months now. It is time for consequences and boundaries. If you want to go to Walmart at 3am, you are a grown woman, 35 years old I think, and that is your choice and not really his concern no matter who tells him what. He is more concerned with what other people seem to think than what his wife is experiencing and thinking and I'm sorry but I am really a little ticked off at your H. No more cake eating allowed MT. It's time.
Ok check back in the am and I might not be so upset with him but this has been brewing since this am. Love you and you are strong. Strong. Strong.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.