Another Wife Hit By The Bomb #4

[lovehimso]

Hey Tawnya,

Just trying to get caught up with everyone. I just haven't had the time to be here much the past few days.

I haven't been able to really get caught up with you yet, but I saw that the conversation about "I'm sorry" got developed a bunch more here on your thread. I'm glad, because everyone's explanations about it really made sense and I can now understand what Sandi was saying.

So, I'm going to take Sandi up on her challenge to be more aware of how often I say those words. Starting now. I'll substitute "excuse me" when appropriate, to start. I'm also one of those people who say "I'm sorry" in empathy, and yes, I get the "it's not your fault" line from people, which always surprises me because I AM only empathizing, not taking responsibility. Like, if someone tells me they have the flu, I'll say, "Oh, I'm sorry". Like, I wish they felt better, NOT that I think it's my fault they have the flu--that's just ridiculous! I'm thinking something along the lines of "what a bummer" would be a better phrase to use.

And I can see how saying those words all the time to empathize can really diminish their meaning when you really need to take repsonsibility for something and express regret for it. Something I never thought about...