Missed you too BG! Thanks for checking on me, I'm glad to hear from you, I was worried.
My feelings are really bouncing around. Grief, sorrow, anger, disbelief, sadness, disgust, shock, etc. etc. I would guess you are too.
Thank God we don't have a baby from his A to deal with, the video that I see playing every time I close my eyes is about all that I can handle.
On the day that he finally confessed I was pretty much howling with pain. Because he was finally being honest with me he answered every stupid, nasty detail that I screamed in question to him. Now that's all that I see. I suppose that in time those images will fade, as we add more good memories of our own. Right now it's pretty painful.
By the way, I stopped asking questions. But the damage was already done. Knowing myself, I suppose that I would rather know the truth instead of the wild things my mind would cook up.
I think that the worst thing for me is that having been thru this with my 1st H, the guy that I married the second time was truly my friend, or at least I believed him to be. Before his vows, he promised to me that he would never cheat on me, and I so believed him. I truly thought that I was special. I thought that we were special, and although sometimes I worried about many things, I never, ever, really believed that he would cheat on me. I knew the EA, but I really didn't believe he could/would have sex with another woman.
Guess he sure proved me wrong. I am so sad. I am beyond trust at this point, I feel that we can have a good marriage eventually, but that specialness is gone.
By the way, I was wondering what the rest of you did, but after his confession I took my rings off. Seeing them on only reminds me of the promise that he broke. I put them away. I just can't even look at them now.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
