Sometimes goodbye is a second chance

[phbear316]

As time goes by I realize more and more I am good, I am happy in my decision to leave.

Days before I left I questioned was Idoing the right thing.

I had to get out to realize I did the right thing.

I went back for my mail today, and looked around my home, or what was my home. ITs cold, its all him and her. A charlie brown xmas tree, pictures of him and her together, on my old nightstand, Her stuff on my old dresser. key word my old. I got my mail and took the ice cream scooper and a few other things and walked out. I did not even get upset at all. Its cold and has no love. Just like what I feel for stbex no love, cold.

After Jan one I will try mediation again, if no then I will find a way to get the money to file. I want my freedom, I want my life back, I want to be me.

Kids pictures around, new mattress, (which makes me laugh so hard ow has back issues guess my old mattress what bothering her so he went and bought a new one, I have been asking for a new one for 4 years,but she gets it all)

She gets it all, all his issues, all his problems, all his unsolved childhood hangups.

Someone has come back into my life by chance, he is a good friend and one with benefits for now, there is an age difference and some cultural issues but you know I am just enjoying someone telling me I look nice today, and someone who wants to listen to what I have to say. I am not ashamed to date him now, he knows my marriage is over and there is no hope, and supports me with every thing, just like a good friend would do.

My old house is just that a house, my home now is my apt, which has given me my freedom, to make new memories, new happiness

I listened to a song from seal, loves devine, I felt every word was every feeling i have had. I had to find me again, and I am
every day is clearer than the last. I realized what it takes to heal me. It takes me, and love of myself

hugs
bear