Well let me tell you what happened this afternoon. I went home for lunch and my papers arrived from my lawyer. He finally filed our complaint. In the papers it stated that we both had to take a parenting class and then meet with a mediator about custody arrangements. Apparently he got his info too and in talking to him, he exploded. Also let me say that when I went to the lawyer I stated I did not want a divorce. I also did not beleive our marriage was "irrevocably broken".. So to answer his complain I denied that claim.
I have stated to him that I will give him what he wants. But I do not and will never beleive it is the right thing to do. Maybe it is moral thing within me, but I DO NOT believe either one of us gave it the quality effort it deserved. Therefore, when he read this he was irrate. He said I lied and that I said I would not stop the divorce which I am not doing. I didn't need to get a lawyer and file anything. I could wait the 2 year period in Pa and then let the court sign the papers. However I moved forward with it because I had to.
He wanted us to make our own custody arrangements. HE wanted to control the whole thing and now that he isnt' he is livid and all he says is how much he hates me and how we will fight in court and how he is going to make it ugly etc.. All I could say is this is what you wanted and I am giving it to you. I didn't do anything wrong. I did exactly as I was advised. He tried to say I was wrong, my lawyer was wrong, everything is wrong. I know alot of this comes from his hurt, but to hear it and seperate that is wearing me out. I can't do it anymore. It is all becoming one. It is getting harder to seperate that the words and actions are because he is losing control and not because he sincerely means them.
Where I thought there was love it is quickly becoming hate. And I don't know how to stop that.
