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frank_D Offline OP
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as again, previous thread

Right now in my house I have about $75,000 of computer and network equipment that belongs to a client. On Wednesday I'm taking it all to the Las Vegas ' SuperNAP

Not many people would trust someone with that value of equipment.

Except for me.

I know what I'm talking about, and I know how to solve these hard problems.


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frank_D Offline OP
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W didn't make coffee this morning. Nor did she clean up any dishes that were around, or empty the dishwasher.

I think she gets that she doesn't live here.


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Originally Posted By: frank_D
Right now in my house I have about $75,000 of computer and network equipment that belongs to a client. On Wednesday I'm taking it all to the Las Vegas ' SuperNAP

You know, after looking at their video, $75G of equipment is like a drop of water falling in the ocean!

I bet it has got to be real noisy in that building with all the fans.

I like how their map shows that Las Vegas is the safest place in the USA. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!

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frank_D Offline OP
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I haven't actually spoken to W since last thursday. I avoid seeing her in the mornings and she hasn't called me for anything.


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I did a double-take and yep, I was right - KerryK didn't say a word about your wife.

So if you would just quit thinking about her and talking about her then you might accidently turn a corner.

Hey it's a theory - but mostly today I'm just teasing.

Kinda...

Sorta...

So when is your next counseling appointment, Frank?
And are you still on those anti-depressants?
If not, what do you think about getting a new presciption?




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Reposting. This needs to carry forward.

Originally Posted By: sandyc

You know Frank, when my H first left he came over every morning to help get the kids ready. I of course accepted this help....but really it was just so I could see him and try to keep him involved with the family life. I thought that would bring him closer However, my DB coach and my IC said to stop this PRONTO. How could he want to come closer if he already had what he wanted....see the kids at his leisure and then go back to his apartment in the evening...leaving me with the fall out every night that it caused?

First of all, it's not quality time. Second of all it's awkward for the kids and them starting out the day that way sucks for them. Your daughters have already said they don't want to do XYZ because she doesn't live there anymore. Plus it's just the same old Frank doing the same old thing. She doesn't have to wonder or worry about Frank getting a life because you haven't changed yours one iota(sp?) I was told this was cake eating. This is not what a D or a S looks like. Give your wife a healthy dose of what this looks like. She sees the kids outside the home. That's her choice and you need to have your own space. She needs to wonder why you are protective of your own space. Do you show up to make coffee at her house? No Do you have access to her place? No Why are you giving her those privledges? She chose to not have them. Things started breaking at my house after H left. He is a handy man and once I revoked his key privledges I hired poeple to do the work. That p*ssed him off big time.... but you know what? It is a privledge to work on things on ones own home. He would say "it cost more money" Well, in return I would say, "well, we have to get use to the way it will be moving forward" I don't know of many D couples that keep their lives so intertwined...it was then and only then that I think helped my situation start turning in a different direction. I did none of this to try to get him back. I just got REAL. It REALLY has to change. I needed to REALLY start living my life as a single mother. IMO she should not be doing laundry at your house or anything else. She chose to give up that right. You've been status qou for to long now and you need to put a stop to it for yourself. It's what's best for you and that will ultimately be what's best for your kids.

Blessings


FIB


Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
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frank_D Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: AmyC
So if you would just quit thinking about her and talking about her then you might accidently turn a corner.

Hey it's a theory - but mostly today I'm just teasing.
Accidents happen. \:\)

Quote:

So when is your next counseling appointment, Frank?
And are you still on those anti-depressants?
If not, what do you think about getting a new presciption?
Thursday, and yes I still take the anti depressants. They're the only reason I'm not insane right now.


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frank_D Offline OP
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The silence was broken W called a few minutes ago

W: Hi, I'm coming over to pick up my massage table.

Me: (neutral tone) Ok.

W: Is that ok with you, you seem annoyed.

Me: I'm not annoyed, I have no feelings either way.

W: Ok, I'll be right there.

Me: Ok, bye

She shows up a few minutes later. She asks me when I'm leaving tomorrow and I tell her the plan. She asks me if anybody is here and I say 'no'. She made a joke about D17 and we had a laugh and I said 'bye' and she left.


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I'll be glad when you actually DO get annoyed but I'm afraid it'll be with US instead of her.

Ahem.

And still you came back to post about what?

HER - and an entirely trivial interaction


Read that post FIB copied over here!





Last edited by AmyC; 12/10/08 02:35 AM.
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Agree with AmyC frank. Maybe next time leave the table outside the door for her to pick up. Well..maybe that is a little 'negative'. Maybe you should stop being there for her. FIB


Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
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