ok. so now i feel guilty really guilty about EVEN TRYING to save this marriage. OW's mom is dying, she has to go down there this weekend, and because H is still with me, H cant keep his son, she isnt taking her boys. I understand why H is hurt. she is using me as the pawn, thier son, or me. he picked. i know they chose all this not me.
You already answered your own dilema. THEY CHOSE THIS!!!! Not you. H chose you and in turn the OW has chosen to put a little boy in the middle of something that IS NOT ABOUT HIM. Both of them are allowing the other to use you and the child as excuses not to do the real and responsible thing. Your H needs to really chose and when he does, she will no longer be able to control him by using that child. As long as he is willing to allow her to use this boy as a bargaining chip, then this crap will continue and in my opinion, allow the contact with her to continue. I ONLY say this because I am in the same position. If H loves this boy so much, why does he allow OW to use him this way?
FWIW...look into what you can/need to do to legally establish paternity and parental rights and let H know that unless or until there is some legal proof and arrangements set up, this situation is merely a stop-gap method for allowing the status quo to continue. Not trying to be harsh, but the longer you put up with it, the harder it is to stop...trust me, I know.
Love you Sis....
Last edited by Sugar and Spice; 12/09/0807:45 PM.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
