Nope. I have stopped doing what i was doing, which was failing and losing hope. I am not doing what I think He wants me to do, I am doing what it is He wants me to do. The signs, especially the cross, were very solid. He wants me to continue with me, to continue to be me. There is no rationalization of this situation, as you know. Since I canot reason through this, I need to have faith. That is what I am now doing, having faith in Him to guide me and to hold onto my hope. I don't think He wants me to sit back. He wants mye to have the strength in what it is I am doing and not despair. This is what He wants. Thanks AmyC, I know you understand better than most.
I wanted to leave my path, give up, call it quits because the sane , rational, logic in this says too. As I confided in you, I needed to do something I haven't done, go to Church, to find something to tell me not to give up. I think He has done a prettygood job with me so far....
