Working on a friendship

[Belle]

Thanks for asking.

Nothing new.

Called H last night - his phone actually rang. (Battery had been dead since Sat night and he didn't have a charger).

So I left a message but of course he didn't call back. Probably spending time with OW.

I know I am being SOOOOO negative and I don't know why.

Lousy night of sleep last night - has somewhat to do with my adrenals and somewhat to do with thoughts running through my head.

Struggling with this website also. It almost seems like I need a break. I guess I'm just so confused about how this is supposed to go. If H decides he wants to start something with me again, I supposed to be happy and positive and not ask questions. That just doesn't seem right. A relationship is supposed to involve honest communication between 2 people. I understand that being negative about the situation is not good. But there are things that will need to be discussed. I'm not just going to pretend that everything that has happened is water under the bridge. In my mind, things just don't "work out as they will". If the issues are not addressed, then nothing will change. It takes hard work by BOTH people.

Sorry for my rant and rave. But this is what I thinking as I lay awake last night. I know that all of these thoughts are stupid because I don't even know if my H will ever want to come back.

I've got to focus on putting H and OW out of my mind. I am more focused on this now more than I was from day 1. Again, it's probably b/c I thought things were cooling off between them and now I appear to be wrong.......

Thanks for listening