I haven't chimed on your posts in a while, so I thought I'd jump on this new thread. I have to admit to not following a lot of your recent sitch, but I would make one observation. You made the comment, where many of us have been:
"Yes I am scared to death of losing him."
Why? Don't get me wrong, when my W dropped the bomb, I thought my life would end without her. That I would be nothing without her. That I'm getting old, and she is much more attractive and outgoing than I am. That I wouldn't be able to find another like her.
Life on these boards, talking often with a sponsor, a DB Coach once a month, GALing and keeping a PMA has gotten me thinking much more of myself and my future - is a GOOD way.
I will continue to pray, be loving (while detached) and think of a new future without her, as a part-time (great) dad, and eventually with someone else - if she cant' heal herself in the M.
When you get to the point where you aren't scared to death for your M to end, I think you'll start to see some HOPE.
Stay strong.
NM
PS I did read the Homer electronic book. It was OK, simplistic at times, and not as good as MWD or some of the other Wise Women and Men on these boards.
