(((A)))) thank you so much for seeing what I couldn't/can't see. It's hard for me to tell if he is being honest about how busy he is or just trying to prevent me from charging in and swooping up all his free time. You are right about him being really focused on his career. I guess it still sort of hurts, because I feel like consciously or unconsciously he really chose his quartet over me. Also when I look at his life, it is just so busy and fragmented-- December in NY, Maine, and Florida, January in NY, Maine and Iowa-- I don't know how he could ever be with someone (ie me) in a mature relationship where we'd be making life decisions together, and still following his dream. I feel discouraged just thinking about it. It's hard for me to see there being room for me in his life. When we were both in Boston, he went up to Maine a lot for his symphony job, but that was not a problem...

((((K)))) I'm confused about DBing someone from far away too. I need to think more about what my goals are. I guess I'm working on what Lisa suggested, more frequent and meaningful contact. I would REALLY like him to initiate contact more-- right now he is really receptive to me contacting him, but has only initiated 4 times since we started talking again. I would also be thrilled if he gave me some kind of encouraging, flirtatious sign. This coming year I guess I see as sort of a repeat of last year ?? \:\( ?? Maybe I will see him in January, and then again in May/June/...? I just can't tell if there is movement or we are just in a holding pattern. What do you think?

((((((E)))))))))) You have such good suggestions! Can you help me think of something subtle? When B and I were together we had a lot of sexual banter and humor, but it was all pretty explicit like, "I can't wait to lick your frenulum" or "I am so excited to hump your beautiful body." Something more subtle like... B, I miss your manly angelwing shoulderblades? how your eyes get bluer when you're happy? I miss seeing your smile in person? I miss your lip freckle? I feel like I still need to tone it down more. Can I get an assist? I guess I am more comfortable with flirtatious tone as opposed to flirtatious content, because I'm not risking getting hurt as much, and the flirtatious tone can perhaps be excused as just my general enthusiasm for life...

(((EVERYONE)))
thank you
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