I hear you. I have been told by AMyC and a few others that things will get worse before they get better. I try not to dwell on it, and it may be this status quo is as worse as it will get, I doubt it. I am very strong, have a solid network around me, my family, my friends, this board, now church. So I have compassion for me and a 2x4 in the head when I need it. I do not accept pity, nor do I give it. You reap what you sow. Positive actions beget positive results and vice versa. I need to be what I want to be, nothing else. I am a good person. I am better than I was before. She will come out of this, with me remains to be seen. But as people have indicated, when she does come out, her pain and suffering will be greater than mine. If she seeks to come to me, great if not, good luck to her in her life. She has already burnt many bridges, some of which cannot be repaired by her.
I "fix" things, I make things better, I do what most people can't. My job is a "fixer" my reputation is a fixer. I take care of things...This is my life...This is something I cannot fix, I cannot take care of, I cannot make better. I accept this as difficult as it is for someone whose life for 30 years has been resolving problems and issues for customers and people.
I have frustration, anger, pain, sorrow, misery and loneliness. I also have happiness, joy, and a great feeling of accomplishemnt at the end of each day as I sit in my home. Hope your hope stays, like you said it ain't over till you sign on the dotted line, and even then, there is no ghuarantee.
