Update: My dad died and I got served 2 days before the funeral. My DD also went to her school counselor about her anorexia/cutting, etc and voluntarily went into a treatment faculty. She is now in the day care part and living with H. We have to go to family therapy though. Yesterdays was a little eye opener. We had to validate something about our lives. H said he wanted to validate he wasn't a lousy person. I talked about wanting to know I am DD's mother - that I continually feel pushed out and how I always look at the worst like feeling the divorce will put me homeless. We were getting ready to leave though and I really felt I had to say something....I turned to H and said "I wouldn't have waited nearly 3 years, if I didn't think you were worth it". He stared straight ahead and didn't say anything.
I know people here say there are miracles and I really want to believe but I am having a hard time seeing anything but H finishing the divorce, marrying his 28 year old and her 3 little kids (2,5,8) and then taking DD and I never seeing her again. I can even see it worse...H getting the house and them all moving into it while i am living on the street. Yep, have to work on the negativity.....<sigh>
Sitting quietly doing nothing, the flowers bloom effortlessly.
bomb: Jan 25, 2006 not seen since DD moved in with H - 9/1/08 H filed for divorce - 11/2008 Divorce dismissed by courts - 4/2010 still nothing
