So my thread locked and I need to start a new one.
Several things, I have not been on the site for a few days. So I hope everyone is well.
Sandi, I wanted to respond to your post. I appreciate your attempt and your goals. I will try to put them into practice but I think you may have my situation confused with someone elses also. My H is not living with OW. He isn't dating someone else. He did have a brief, although at this pt he says it never happened, it was just that I assumed, so he went with the story affair back in May. I really don't know the truth to all of this. I know she didn't live around us or was even close by, but I do know he talked to her on the phone.
Anyway you are partly correct with the I am sorry thing. I really only do that with my husband. I don't know why. Yes I am scared to death of losing him. Yes I am sure he knows it and takes advantage of it. It has also created a lot of annimosity between us lately. But I am sorry. I am sorry for the way he feels and when he tells me how hurt he is and what happens I do feel bad. I wish I couldn't have done more. I feel like I should have done more.
I didn't talk to H all weekend. It wasn't a big deal. I knew he was away hunting. Yesterday I sent him an email to let him know what the kids schedules where this week. I wanted to see if he was going to participate in the counseling visit for our D on Wed night as well. It was very brief and to the point. I made a light joke and so he wouldn't take it wrong b/c I never know if he will I added a little smiley face so he knew I was kidding..however I guess he didn't get that b/c what I got back was a very sarcastic e-mail in which he didn't respond to the schedule but only that he had a FANTASTIC weekend..and he made another little reference.
Now I knew as soon as I saw the all caps fantastic he was being sarcastic. At this point I guess I should have ignored but I didn't I started laughing and I called him and said why the sarcasm? This of course led the conversation off in the wrong place. He apparently is still holding a grudge because of last weeks incident with the insurance company. He is very mad at me that I didn't believe in him. As much as I tried to explain this and ref my POV..he still says..this is why we can't be married...you will never believe in me again. He told me he is bitter and he will be for a while but will eventually get over it. Not just bitter about that incident, but bitter about the way our relationship ended up. (I guess I don't get that, because this was his choice, not mine)
When I got home from work. He left me a sarcastic letter. Again. I should have just disregarded but I calmly called and said was this necessary. I thought we got over all this. He agreed and we talked for a good hour. Toward the end of the conversation I told him I may be taking a couple days to go away so if he wanted to take the kids that would be great. (I am seriously concidering go away for a few days over the holidays..just to get away)..When he responded very hastlily with "do whatever you need to do"..I said I wasn't looking for approval. Well I guess this was the wrong thing to say because I swear he did a 180 on me and Dr Jeykll came out. Next thing I knew he was yelling at me about something that we hadn't even discussed and he started calling me names.Telling me again how he can't wait until I am out of his life, to go f myself. I was floored. I asked him what in Gods name was wrong with him and why he started to act like this. I even commented that we were having a realitivly nice conversation and then wham!!! The more he yelled, the madder I got. I will not lie. I lost it too. We both got loud. I tried really hard not to say anything demeaning or regretful, but I was loud and yelling just the same.
Anyway..I went out to eat for a friends birthday. I had hung up the phone on him, but he kept calling back. I answered and said I am going to celebrate my friends birthday now..so I am going to go. He ended up sending some really nasty texts. About taking custody of kids away. I did not respond. Abt 20 minutes later he sent an apology and was sorry about the whole conversation. I didn't respond..He sent another saying please respond he needed closure..
Called him when I got home said I was very hurt that every time he gets mad lately he gets very beligerent and says very very hurtful things. I understand he is hurting too, but some of the comments he has been making are beyond anything that he has ever said to me before and he is just down right nasty.
Its when these coversations start I feel the need to defend myself and not let him attack me. I don't want to lose him and I want him to see what he is doing, but I also don't want to let him say things without me retaliating. Just by writing that is sounds so immature..
Anyway..sorry so long..I thought this was going to be a peaceful week but I guess not.
