This statement - He is going so far out of his way to do stuff for me and improve himself..but at this point in time it seems so insincere due to the fact that after 1 year of me not being important NOW he sees it?
Do you think your H had this same thought 1 year ago about you?
You and he have switched positions. It is compeletly normal. How were you reacting toward him when you felt him slipping away. Do you see the similarity? I'm not all saying he was justified. NO WAY, all I'm talking about is the feelings. The emotions. His are now as jumbled as yours were.
You have all the tools to lead him home. The benefits of your time here and the dividends of your efforts are staring you in the face He is searching for answers just as you were.
This is a prime example how emotions dictate our actions. We (the DB posters) took you under wing, so to speak, out of pure compassion. A total stranger, hurting and confused. We had experience on our side and shared what we had.
On a pure compassion perspective, you are at the same place having now walked the path. Your husband is just starting his journey. The difference is the emotions you carry toward your husband.
You are in a healing process. The pain is still fresh and you are not at a place to offer your forgiveness. This is the reason I asked you to simply give yourself time. To let your emotions heal. To let yourself rekindle the compassion we all carry in our hearts. He has a lot to contribute to your healing. Things he doesn't even realize, but with even the slightest sign of compassion from you, you will boost his drive to succeed.
San - can you give me a quick breakdown of your sitch ? Can you tell me if one day you just thought to hell with living like this, I need to live mine ? Was is scary letting go? Did you think that , that was it ? i am so desperate to know what comes next in all this pain.
From my experience, there is a ton of healing to take place when you experience an affair. This is a great place to gather support as your journey continues, but as with all of this DB process, only you can decide what path you will follow.
Registered: 12/01/08 Posts: 32 Loc: Washington State As an update, my wife has accepted me back in and we are working on reconciliation. It was a great weekend with the family. It will be lots of hard work and dedication but a challenge I am looking forward to taking on.
I have seen that if true love is there nothing can not be overcome. We are both facing fear of similar types and different types but together we have agreed to face it and conquer it.
