You need to do the best thing for you. Me right now, is just to get my things done and in order and have the control I need. I focus on the things I want done each week, things I'm going to do (my time) and what needs to be done with regard to my family. That's enough for a while.
My anger towards her is not constant, just the times I think of her. I do ask myself questions, and answer them, logically and rationally. Emotionally, I am OK, a little down most times, but strong enough to bear it. I try not to feel her or talk about her. The less I do, the better I get. It's mostly her throwing away 31 years that I cannot fathom. Thrillisgone was the same. I just cannot believe she woudl walk away, with no regret, ne feeling, no nothing. I read and hear that she is in pain and suffering, but I if I don't see it, I don't believe it. The whole ILYBINILWY is crap. How can youi possibly treat someone you love this way? One of my biggest questions. the other issue is her telling everyone she wants to be friends with me. She cast that stone across the pond. Again, as long as she is with OM, she does not exist in my life, at any level.
