I know what you mean about the night clothes. I have bought many - and most not the see thru impractical ones - silky and semi sexy ones but usable - and my wife wears them once and I never seem to see them again. She goes straight back to boring blah type ones. She told me she likes when I buy that stuff for her but it is apparent that is just lip service. I have given up on them and probably won't buy any in the future.
I also know what you mean about talking about intamacy and/or sex and getting the avoidance routine. Is a drag - but I've decided as it seems to bring more tension and anxousness than any closeness it seems better to just not try / go there. Guess I'm a coward
I think at times maybe my (others also maybe ?) hopes and wants as far as closeness is maybe unrealistic. I am thinking more and more lately that just getting along and not fighting is all that can be hoped for and maybe is more the norm for marriage. I have been trying to view things a little more "outside the box" and am thinking/realizing I don't know any couples that are really close like I was thinking/hoping my marriage would be. I am lowering my hopes. It actually seems to be helping me as I feel more calm.
