I also told him that I have friends who've transferred in the middle of music programs and it takes them literally like 7 years to finish their 4 year program because so few credits transfer. B also said he didn't think that C would actually have the energy/focus to pull off transferring very soon. So then I suggested that maybe we could try to "open his eyes" by encouraging him to do a semester abroad, or some kind of cool summer program where he would meet a bunch of really cool people. We brainstormed about that for a little bit.
At some point B started comparing C to where B was when he was in college. He said that he was raised to believe that in order to be a good Christian he had to develop his "God-given talents" on the violin. That he felt he'd never been able to *choose* his path, and that he was afraid that if he didn't walk the path of becoming a violinist, it would be "WRONG". I gently asked if maybe his brother hadn't internalized these expectations as much as B. B agreed, but also said that C told him he was concerned if he didn't develop his musical talents that it would be "a sin." At this point a little lightbulb went off in my head and I said, "Hey, that reminds me of something I read a couple days ago that made me think of you.. this theologian thomas merton." And then I read B a quote from p. 400 of passionate marriage (don't worry, I didn't get a chance to identify the source), where he says that "sin isn't about unconfined desire, but our refusal to desire and grow, our refusal to belive in ourselves, and our willingless to live below our potential." After I read it out loud to him I realized that I meant to be encouraging brother C to explore... but the quote could be also taken as "you MUST develop as a musician", and I told B that maybe I wasn't being clear. He sort of changed the subject at this point and said that he thought it was more about C becoming an adult and realizing he could CHOOSE his path, going through a transition from being a follower to being a leader.
