You will find that most of us here also believe that there is no use in reconciliation or counseling until the third party is removed from the marriage.
There are mixed opinions on the merit of exposure vs. waiting out the affair. I believe it is situational dependent. Most always, I believe in outing the affair if you wish to repair the M. But that HAS to be done in conjunction with DB techniques so that you do not revert to the person you were before the "bomb."
