Well, after the I received the emails below, I went over to a friend's house and had a great evening. I was angry and anxious and frightened for awhile, but now I feel nothing but peace and happiness. I prayed with my friends, and in praying felt such peace and lightness that the present situation honestly doesn't concern me.
God is glorious, and He is true happiness. Nothing else matters.
I'm going to fast tomorrow along with several of my friends from church. I think it will be about six of us fasting. When my friend and I prayed, I had the sensation of being outside of myself, and she was struck by the desire to fast at the same time I was. So tomorrow we will have nothing but water. No food, no drinks, no cigarettes (this is huge for me as I'm a chain smoker). Every time we feel hunger or the craving for a cigarette, we will pray for my H.
In other news, my H agreed to meet with my friend's husband (mutual friends) for drinks on Friday. He's still avoiding the topic of us like the plague, but he did text my friend's husband that he would always care for me.
Later this evening, he called and left me a voicemail asking if I'd gotten his emails. He apologized for calling and said that he's sure I'll get to them when I have a chance.
So yeah, I think it's safe to say that being unavailable is working.
I'll reply to him tomorrow. When I get around to it.
There was a really gorgeous sunset tonight. Nothing flashy - no fiery sky or flaming clouds - just a peaceful, perfect shade of aqua as twilight descended. I swear it was the most beautiful color I've ever seen: liquid green and blue that was so stunningI felt I could swallow it, could taste its cool calmness.
