I've been busy all week and then had my D this weekend, so now I'm trying to play catch-up.
I'm prepared now if XW tries that move again. I'll simply let her know that I'm not comfortable discussing this w/ her anymore so these types of discussions are off limits.
I won't have to, or need to, get ugly w/ her, but I will let her know if/when they reappear.
As for me, I'm ok. Money is tight right now and I need to get this house out of my hands and soon. I also got a really pissy letter from my L b/c I told him I'd need more time to pay him back. He was condescending and rude when he really didn't need to be. Oh, well. I realized after he got me nothing in my D that I wasn't too fond of him, and now I see he really only cares about the money (as they all do), so he can wait w/ the rest of my creditors.
As for XW, I figured out a BIG reason why she likes her new BF - He drinks w/ her!!! When I dropped D off w/ them on Sunday, W had a glass of wine (as usual) and BF had a mixed drink. So, they are drinking buddies as well. My stopping drinking was another nail in the coffin of our M, I guess. I would have looked for her to not drink either, so it is no wonder she took off.
It was much easier for her to leave, make up lies, and destroy our family than it would be for her to confront her past as well as her drinking.
Last thing...D broke down crying twice this weekend talking about our D. She first said "why did you have to yell at Mommy and make her leave?" To which I told her "there were things I did that made Mommy said and I worked on them, but Mommy decided she still couldn't be married to me any more." I then added "Yes, Daddy did make mistakes, but Mommy made mistakes too. Daddy has done work so he won't make those mistakes again."
She then continued and said "Does Mommy not want to be w/ you b/c she's w/ (BF)?" And I told her that Mommy is happy w/ (BF) right now." D's response: "That isn't right. You just don't stop loving someone and leave them b/c you like someone else."
Got to say at least she gets it...unlike her mother.
She also said she liked it when we were all together, and I agreed that I liked it too, but now we'll need to make the most of the time we do get to spend w/each other.
Another time this weekend, she asked if I could still kiss Mommy, to which I said, well, if Mommy wanted to kiss Daddy and Daddy wanted to kiss Mommy, we could, but Mommy is very happy w/ (BF) now. D said "I wish she'd kiss you instead of (BF)."
Breaks my heart to see this effect on her. XW has ZERO idea what D is going through b/c D says NONE of this to her. So, in a way I'm glad to know she feels safe talking about it w/ me.
That is all I can do for her right now. I just hope my actions will be able to counter-act her mother's negative ones over time.
