Hi, NW626! Just caught up on your sitch again. I think you're doing a great job. Nice job with PMA and with detaching. I know it's so difficult, but you're doing great.
Not sure that R talk was a total backslide. Yous et several expectations that are about detaching. No you just have to keep walking that path.
I'm glad you got to spend some good quality time with your S. Keep being a great dad, working on yourself, and detaching but being a friend. Thiese things will help immensely, I think.
Hi NW: Glad to hear that you're doing so well - it sounds like you kept your perspective and stayed focused through a tough conversation - I also think it's good that you let her know that you knew about the OM - and just got that out in the open...some of what she throws your way may be motivated by her sense of guilt - but that is hers to deal with - not yours.
For the sake of your son, I hope her IC goes well and she sticks with it. Are you talking with anyone? It might be a good time for you to consider going to a T yourself...
You're doing great - you've really gotten stronger very quickly.
Hi Beth Thanks for the encouragement. I really need that.
Journal... W and S3 just left. I miss that crazy boy running around the house. I will see him soon for sure. The past several days, W and I remain friendly to each other. There were no arguing, drama...etc, only the brief R talk on Sunday afternoon. I can see she feel more comfortable around me now. She even agrees that I can stay with her next time I go down to see S3. Right now she is not my W. She is just the mother of my son. I believe she got this vibe from me too. I even joke with her you can't take all the maxi pads away, need to leave some for my lady friends. I guess overall it was pretty good several days. My next goal is for her to feel good enough around me to talk about her deeper issues. I know this may never happen. Until then, she is just a friend. I will keep busy work on myself, GALing with zero expectation. If there are any positive movements from W side, they are just bonuses.
Keep on driving the bus and hope she will take the ride eventually.
NW626
Me:33 STBXW:38 S:3 It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you fight the fight....!!
Good for you! You really sound peaceful. I am sure you miss your little son, but you will see him again soon.
I have been reading a lot of threads here lately and one thing seems consistent, if the WAS comes back, the change in the tide starts to occur when they believe we have really let them go.
Beth Thanks for the encouragement. I hope they are right. I am pretty much drop the rope now and keep a friendly communication line open. I guess we shall see...!!
Um..keeping busy plan. 1. I join the local boys and girls club. I go there couple days a week to help out their homework or just simply there. The kids actually help me too.
2. I join the local gym. That's right. Between you and AN combine running 300 miles per day does make me feel bad. I went there several times. May be I can change the keg to six packs, I have my doubt....!!
3. I try to meet up with friends every weekend and stay out of the house.
4. Join a bowling league. I haven't done this yet.
5. Of course this great online community.....my life line.
Hopefully I can think of more later.
NW626
Me:33 STBXW:38 S:3 It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you fight the fight....!!
Sounds like a pretty good list to me. Also, you are way ahead of me in the socializing. I have got to make myself interact with new people, make some new friends.
I wish we all lived in the same area. I have made so many great friends here, you know?
You have been so good to me NW626, so I just thought I would stop by and say thanks and also keep up the good work.
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
NW - great to see your list - I hope you can add some more things to it soon - and make the most of what you have been doing.
Getting out and helping kids with their homework sounds wonderful...I'm filling out a form to volunteer a local library - just to see if there's anything I could do out there to make myself useful...
SF and Carlos Thanks for your support. It means a lot to me. S3 is doing great and growing so fast. I miss that boy. Volunteer works helps me tremendously. I saw some kids who they are in a lot worse situation than I am. It does put things in perspective. I am so lucky compare to some of the kids in the club. I am doing better now after I saw W over the weekend. It just proves my loving detachment is somewhat working. Don't get me wrong, I still miss her from times to times, but it is getting better.
There are still tons of things I need to work on... Keep busy working on those and trust the BIG MAN guidance.
NW626
Me:33 STBXW:38 S:3 It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you fight the fight....!!
