STEPPING out...

[cagzmom]

I feel like God has like a protective barrier around me...and I want to grab my friends on this board that are hurting and pull you in with me.

Has my stitch changed? NOPE not one bit! He is "Gone" and I am "Here." I still love and he loves another. YET GOD has me in this shielded wonderful place.. YeS WONDERFUL. Why/how can I say it? Don't know.....just know that for today and for the past week I have been okay....and after teh deep sadness that I have suffered...okay is much better than in hell.

For you who are hurting I am sorry. All I know is that GOD does something through this..through the pain and yes there are days, months etc. that we think he isnt shielding us at all. BUT imagine if He weren't in your life at all....how much deeper the pain, the saddness....

Throughout this journey that has been one constant thought on my mind. AND I have been in the pit. DEEEP where I wanted to die...the crys the pain, the true literal heart ache.....so deep....and even then i would wonder GOD IF you aren't here- if you weren't here would it be eve worse??!!!

So today I tell you grab the "OKAY" moment and hold it close. The crappy ones -- oh jeez'...that is when you CRY OUT and scream and ask for healing in your soul...call your closest true confident and do the puke cry.... and in the okay moment...GO WITH IT!!! MORE than you did before..GRAB it RIDE it hold on to it....

Thats what i am doing. I know things will change, I know life is going to through something at me. As with Trusting I too have intuition and I have been right... God is giving me a resting time.....I am going to use it ....