I am angry..not sure about agressive. I guess I have been agressive in letting her know how I feel. Obviously that got me no where. I would love to have a great loving relationship with my wife. but, i am having a really hard time trying to rationalize supporting her decision and making it all rosy for her.
I am in, but it has to come from her. I have been on board for over a year, with no movement on her part towards me at all.
truly, how do i get with the friendship program when she treats me like crap. I couldnt get on that program with anyone that treats me like that. i certainly dont want her to be rewarded for her decision. I guess I'm in, but acting like I'm out. I dont know what to do...confused, frustrated, giving up I guess.
t, Reread your last post and answer the question...in or out and please leave out the buts! I seriously doubt that you will see any movement on her part if you continue to act the way you have described here. Don't get me wrong T, I feel for you but I get the sense that you are approaching this all wrong. I would suggest that if you have been on board for a year, one of two things is happening. She is so far gone that NOTHING can bring her back OR you have not been doing a good enough job. After one year it should not be too difficult to get your XW to at least stop treating you like crap.
Would it have been inconvenient to have let your W have the kids for that party? Or did you not let her have them out of spite? I would think you could negotiate and co-parent together better.
You need to lose the anger and blame. It will get you no where. Remember, when you argue with a woman, if you lose you lose and if you win you still lose.
Your just going to have to act "As If" up to the point of the D being final and beyond. It sucks, but wallowing in self pity and anger will not let you and the kids move on. She may regret this in the future after it is all done, but it is not your concern.
she thinks getting a D will be all fine and dandy..we'll just live near each other and it will all be great. I felt like she was taking advantage of me on that party. she left for NYC last week then discovered that she had responsibility for the kids while she was out of town. Then, just assumed I would take them as if I'm the designated helper for her. Of course I took them, it wasnt an inconvenience but its the fact that she thinks she can just whip off wherever she wants to go shopping and I'll stick around and watch the kids for her. She was taking advantage.
That party is on a Tue night. She has the kids that prior weekend, the kids come here after school on Mon and return to her on Wed. She has plenty of time and all her relatives know the deal she has created for herself. I'm sure she just told them it would be no big deal and she could just take them whenever she wants. Its not an inconvenience and I'm sure I'm playing this all wrong, but, there are consequences to her actions. It's not all great and perfect now. The point of it is she has been a total jerk to me. Then I get this very nice email from her about this. Now because she wants something from me, she has to be all nice. That's what ticked me off. She has ignored me and blown me off over and over. I dont think me caving into her every need and wish right now is going to change anything.
I'm not sure I understand what acting 'as if' means...you mean act as if im divorced?
I'm not wallowing in my own self pity. Yes, I hate this. I am angry at her for the reasons and what she has done. We didnt have a terrible marriage. Sure, we could have worked on stuff. We should have worked on stuff. But quitting is whats pissed me off. We didnt work on anything. She just quit.
It's impossible dealing with her impatience, compulsiveness. Tonight she sent me an email regarding some bills. She just flat out makes decisions on these but has no right to. I responded very blandly, tried not to 'be right' about anything or really even argue. But, she is so impatient and comes to very quick decisions without thinking them through. She can just fly off the handle in a second, be very nice on a different day. Seems like I'm dealing with a different person all the time.
thats my rant. I'm sure I sound angry because I am very angry. I dont think she and I deserve this and I dont know how to fix it. I know everyone is trying to help me, as are people in my neighborhood that understand us both. But, seems like she's the one nobody understands.
