I wouldn't let him know about any other men; that's not a point to get across. What you do need to do is be a little mysterious about what you do when you're not together. In fact my advice is to not look for another man; you're trying to save your M. But it is good for him to wonder. It's a fine line I know. Trust me, I KNOW. I have some issues with that as well; but then my W is telling everyone including family that I already have a GF and she has named her, my Guard friend. All she's trying to do is steel her family against me and try to bring me down to her level. That is not what you want to happen. So do things to make him wonder; but don't give him any specific ammunition to feel like what he is doing is the right thing.
I think that your outline of what you've been doing was great. You are really determined, much more than I was at the outset of my sitch.
