Awe, I am so sorry. My day not a lot better. Crying a bit here and there with the 19 year anniversary tomorrow.
Yes you LB'd. Oh well. Personally and its only opinion. I would like to see you do a really strong 3 week Plan A to perfection so that a Plan B would be a lot more effective but if you feel there is no other way than going dark then that's fine too. Sure call me tonight about 8 my time.
Breathe, don't be to hard on your self. Go dark for the rest of the day until you get your game plan on. I will check back in an hour or so.
{{{{Hugs}}}}
Me-38 H-38 Married 18years Daughter-17 & Son-9 Discovery of EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in with OW 08/01/08
The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family. -- Lee Iacocca
Trying2Live, I am sorry that you are crying and not surprised. I know tomorrow will probably be rougher for you than Christmas. I will call you tonight. We can maybe have a drink when we are talking, get sloshed and cry then feel better.
I decided to throw up a stich today in same forum. I always feel guilty about taking over yours even though we all seem to do it in your posting. You know that I still live in this one!
I am mad at myself for totally losing it. I said words that I didn't even know that I knew...went down to his level of lowness which really upset me.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Mof thanks for your response. I think I did lose it because of his indifference and embarrassment here. I have a career here that will also go out because of H's actions. The gossip could really negatively impact me.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
I think the key moment to look at was when he said the "M was no good and I wanted out". To me that says he doesn't have true feelings for OW. He just didn't know how to cope with his M and didn't know how to fix it so he thought this was his way of ending it because its EASIER that way. People always want the EASY way out. It's too HARD to stay and try to fix things. It takes TOO much EFFORT to make things work. This is the part that kills me because today's society has made it so EASY for people to get married and get divorces that no one takes marriage seriously anymore. Marriage is a unique, sacred, and blessed commitment that nowadays is more of a show instead of it being a once in a lifetime moment in a person's life.
Your H and my H saw cheating as a "way out". It was easier to hurt us in the worst way possible instead of standing up and saying there is something missing between us lets try and fix it.
It is truly a sad thing.......
Me35/H35 D16/SS14 M-1yr/known H 18yrs 1st Bomb: 4/26 OW35 2nd Bomb: 8/17 OW21 Moved out 8/21/08 H filed D on 9/9/08
God determines who walks into your life...it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
{{{{{{{{{marisol}}}}}}}}}} where have you been? How is everything going with you?? Miss you. Thank you for saying the right thing. I agree nowadays it is just a "throw away" society including marriage. It makes me feel good that there is others like myself who still believe in our M and trying.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Hope - I have been here....last week was busy at work getting back from Oklahoma trip.
Things are good. I bought D16 a dog on Friday as her xmas gift that she has so desperately wanted. She was estatic! I brought him home Friday after work as a surprise and she flipped! I was so lucky to find him at the pound. He is a full breed Golden Retriever and he is only a year old. He is so cute! She named him Leo. It has been a blast this weekend.
As for H, he got his cell phone turned back on. Sent D16 a text but she just ignored it. He sent me a text Saturday asking if I have done my xmas shopping. I told him I had only bought the dog. He sends back that he won't be able to buy D16 anything or anyone else since he has no money. I told him "sorry to hear that" and did not engage. I ask him what his son wants for xmas and he said his son didn't know what he wanted then he adds that he didn't even have money to eat the whole weekend and that he had never been in this kind of situation before and that it was pretty scary. I didn't even engage in that either. I just told him I was sorry to hear that and that I was in no better situation either. It's almost like he wanted me to feel sorry and try to fix it for him. Well he got himself into that situation now its time for him to get himself out or why doesn't he get his 21 yr old GF to fix it for him right? I mean what else does he want? It's just so frustrating....
I can't do anything with the D papers. I don't have the money to record the response (it would cost me like $500). It's all about extending it to let time heal everything right? Maybe this is a sign to have patience.
Me35/H35 D16/SS14 M-1yr/known H 18yrs 1st Bomb: 4/26 OW35 2nd Bomb: 8/17 OW21 Moved out 8/21/08 H filed D on 9/9/08
God determines who walks into your life...it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
((((((((T2L)))))))))) my thoughts and prayers are with you....you will get through this....you have been so strong and as a result of all this you will be 10x stronger.
Me35/H35 D16/SS14 M-1yr/known H 18yrs 1st Bomb: 4/26 OW35 2nd Bomb: 8/17 OW21 Moved out 8/21/08 H filed D on 9/9/08
God determines who walks into your life...it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
i hope one of you posts on my "new" stich...look like a loser -- no one responded. loL
title - losing my sanity
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
People always want the EASY way out. It's too HARD to stay and try to fix things.
Eventually everyone has to face what they have done. I absolutely believe 100% that at some point along the way your H has to stop and look back. If he doesn't do it now , he will do it in the future. So yes it looks like he has taken the easy road for now.
Up to you to show him what he has given up, but do it with integrity and dignity.
