I've been avoiding work since this whole thing began. I seriously haven't done anything more than an email or two since 11/14. Of course, before then I was working at least 100 hours a week, so everyone at work can just kiss it.
For now.
Ehem.
It's so hard to tell what is having a positive response. I could say that being friends has been positive, but then again it's so hard to tell. Alright, I'm going to try and think logically here:
Emailing/ texting anoything about the R or me feelings: No response.
Emailing/texting things a friend would send: Warm response.
Not emailing/texting except in response to what he sends: He bumps up contact.
Dressing a little less like a business woman and a little more like a "girl": Working for sure. It annoys the hell out of me because I don't like frilly stuff, but oh well.....
Trying to show my "domestic" side: Not sure. I don't really think it's making a difference, but who knows.
Other men's interest in me: Upsets him. He obviously is thinking about it.
My religious change: I think it shocks him. He says little abotu it but has asked a few questions.
Shaking his hand instead of hugging him: He wasn't a fan.
Ok, so based on all of that I guess that I need to back off. Friendly. Not friends. No physical contact. Be feminine. Be strong. Be the new me. Let him know there are other men.
*sigh*
Thanks for all of your kind words and advice. I know I can't think of my time with him as wasted in any way. This situation brought me to God, so I cannot resent any of it. Detachment is gonna be tough, but I'm plugging away.
I suppose I need to detach no matter what the truth about the A and his feelings and motives is. My friend thinks the A is about cutting ties with me. I see the logic there, and my friend is a guy and knows my H well.
On the other hand, I see everyone else's point that it's all about the A. People that know my husband don't think so, but then again maybe none of us know him.
Yadda yadda. I will probably never know one way or the other. And it doesn't matter. I need to regain my sense of faith. Gonna pray and make myself turn the focus away from things I cannot know and focus on what I can do.
