Will I ever be able to live without having constant memories of H?????
It is very early days for you and right now those memories bring you pain in time they will be just that- memories. It is good you are getting ou and about and this is an especially hard time of the year for many if not all of us,even those far removed from the rawness. Be kind to yourself and don't expect to much from yourself. It will and does get better after each First has passed. Take care.
