Because it's script, and the odds are in favor of it happening, because she could either:
1) Try to be PHONY nice, as someone suggested above, to show that she has all the sexual power in the relationship; or
2) Respond genuinely, and physiologically, to what is very manly, leading behavior. Remember, the opposite of love is not "hate" -- it's "apathy."
I could be wrong, of course. NOP predicted it in my sitch, at a time of MAXIMUM tension between my wife and I (ok, let's call it what it really was -- SHE HATED MY LIVING GUTS), and I thought he was nuts. He said "within the week."
Hmmmm. Not exactly nice, but she spoke to me. Received an e-mail at home re:an invite for S13 to go to a hockey tryout for a spring team. Tryout is a week from Sunday.
W gets it and comes to me asking if S13 was supposed to get that or if it s/b deleted (ie, because that is when we were supposed to be in hawaii - WTF with that????). I said he is supposed to get it.
W says well you should have told me. Then she says - ready - "That is UNFORGIVABLE!"
OooooooooKAY...
If we were communicating, yes she would have known, but at this point. All I can say is whatever...
I could have tried with this one, but with everything I get, I really didn't feel like it. Should have, but I need something back. Not much, just something. And so far I have gotten a big fat NOTHING but threats / rudeness / bull$hit.
Sorry - just venting...
Last edited by lost_in_space; 12/09/0803:15 AM.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
Well, W called me at work. Caught me totally off guard. Main points:
- do I want to do mediation or does she need to go back to her L?
- would I want to take k's to hawaii by myself and she would then have them meet her at the vac property after?
- I was really ignorant for not telling her S13 received hockey tryout invite. (I did call her on this, saying that an A is ignorant to me and family - her response was that it wasn't really an A because you have to be a R with someone to have an A and she isn't so I should just get over it.)
She said I should stop thinking of myself and think of k's. I can't communicate - how do I ever think I will get in another R?
She needs to know about hawaii soon because people need to know. I asked who and she said people. So I asked who again and she said I do and that is all that counts. I said I will give it some thought to which she said I don't have time to do that to which I said I will take the time to think about it.
She then said sex life started going downhill 6 years ago and she was worried then but nothing done and no communication about it so that is why getting D now.
Well, talk about throwing your day for a loop.
Thoughts?
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
Once AGAIN, I am confused. Unless I missed something (and I was out of town for a few days), what is still up in the air about the Hawaii trip? I thought you told her no way in hell right now?
Split time still wouldn't work due to the financial aspect of a D (ours -- withdrawn -- still cost $6k).
The rest of her blather is just that -- blather. She's full o' crap right now.
I am confused as you. I was clear in my message on Sat.and in our convo. Not sure what the issue is. While I would love to take the k's, affordability at this time is a real problem.
The "blather" as you called it was definitely a lot of me saying wtf!!!!
I wish I knew who this woman was.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
Just to add a smile to the craziness: My ex while we were still married said he wasn't having an affair because it wasn't a secret anymore! Where do they find this stuff??
Keep staying strong.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
- would I want to take k's to hawaii by myself and she would then have them meet her at the vac property after?
I thought that the trip to Hawaii was cancelled. I recall the issue being saving money because she wants a D. That doesn't seem to have changed any.
Originally Posted By: lost_in_space
(I did call her on this, saying that an A is ignorant to me and family - her response was that it wasn't really an A because you have to be a R with someone to have an A and she isn't so I should just get over it.)
Sexual encounters outside of ones marriage constitute an affair.
Originally Posted By: lost_in_space
She needs to know about hawaii soon because people need to know. I asked who and she said people. So I asked who again and she said I do and that is all that counts. I said I will give it some thought to which she said I don't have time to do that to which I said I will take the time to think about it.
I don't get this. I thought this decision had already been made. Did you communicate that clearly to your W? Being indecisive in a case like this is a passive-agressive way of asserting control. If your position is that a family trip to Hawaii would be irresponsible given the current uncertainty, then cancell the plans yourself, tell W & kids why and then deal with the fallout.
