Thanks again. I have to make myself do some work today. I am completely avoiding my job responsibilities...
You wouldn't be the first on here to experience that either, I can assure you!!LOL
I hear you concerning detachment, and that it might not be a 180 for you. It's tough to say what works and what doesn't. What I can suggest is that you journal what has a positive response for you and continue with that action(s). What has a negative or no response; well, obviously discontinue that action(s).
Even if detachment is not a 180 for you; being friends with him can be detrimental for your emotional well-being and in the end DB'ing is for YOU. You are to make yourself a better, happier Nas. You don't love him any less; you just concentrate on yourself more. You drop the rope as it pertains to the relationship until he makes concrete action to return.
There are a myriad of ways you could perform 180s. I think you've started with your wardrobe when he's around. Take some time (when you're not supposed to be working!!) and write down some more areas where you could perform 180s. I can tell your writing and introspection that you shouldn't have any trouble doing this.
Being in denial is something I'm very familiar with. I have received accolades from some on the board for how detached I am. Truth is, I've been dealing with this sitch for 3 long years and I've only found DB in the last 4 months. Many have just started the journey and, luckily for them, have DB early on in their respective sitches. Detachment for me would have been extremely difficult three years ago. Getting beat down for so long has made it infinitely easier. So don't beat yourself up for being in denial and not able to detach.
In closing, I'll say this. Don't ever consider 11 years of your life with him as wasted. When you come through this, you will have used your experience to be a better person, no matter the outcome of your M. That's my take on my own M.
BTW, thanks for stopping by my thread. I appreciate it.
